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| im back. | | |
| she said to me....oh what was it?
something to do with restructuring my life, getting a grip, letting go of that knife?
i think i remember. in frosty december. my birthday had passed. i had been waiting. for something...something. what was i looking for?
finding myself crippled,demure,unsure,still pure but sick without cure. and i still don't know what i'm searching for.
'caring is creepy' -said the girl gone too late...after slutting herself out to me on a plate. but what if i care? i do really care? 'but caring is creepy!' - i don't think thats fair! so basically all you want is some sex? ' yeah, that and some pills and i'll be on my way' -oh...ok. if thats all you need, in that case i'll drown myself in self loathing and bleed. ' you selish fuck,' so i lost my luck. you bitch, your the glitch. get the fuck out my head. if it wernt for your greed i'd be happy instead. i can forget. force myself to forget. theres others who like me. i think anyway. special people unlike you who don't eaqt me like prey. i dont need you. i dont need you. i dont need you. you need me.xxxxxxxx | | |
| this SUCKS!!!....the internet at home is BROKE again so i am forced to drop posts in school hours!! shock, horror!!....i really should me writing my french essay, entitled 'une journee typique' but...meh..
thank you jessicka for calling me pretty, so are you!
i don't have much fucking time..unfortunately.so i cant write much.
faye...i love you and miss you very very very much, recording on friday will be spunk-a-licious!!
jeeesus....amongst other reports i still insist the most important is that I NEED A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND...or boyfriend but i prefer ladies so...yeah. tell me if your interested.
p.s. japanese people are BUFF-A-LICIOUS!! as you probably already guessed from looking at my newly created web-ring that i am hoping you will all become members of...immediatly!!
dr.carrot.x | | |
| my medeocre mind melts to mid-tone grey. i hope i'm not unstable but i know i'm not ok. this life leads nowhere, its going round and round, i'm perplexed, it has no meaning...not one that i have found.
some day i'll escape. i'll bring beer and dope and of course my bad girl bible, i'm sure i'll be able to cope...but not on my own. if im fucking alone then no.
yeah, you guessed i'm lieing
and i'm not even trying.....
this is all emerging from a bullshit brain.....again and again, the same the same.
its so mother fucking lame.
but at least i'm happy.think im happy. yeah i'm happy. | | |
| when i try to look for you, you never seem to be there. but when i finally find you, i act like i dont care. i know its creepy, i admit, i'm strange, maybe mentally unstable, or even deranged because i'm constantly cursed with thoughts relating to you, i try to stop thinking but its that i can't do. i wish i could tell you, at the same time i'm glad i havent, i know you'd run away as soon as this obsession became apparent. but your a cool girl, and so am i, we both like gritty glitter and a simple pot high, we're meant for eachother, but that you'll never know, overwhelming secret i hope will cease to grow. we are friends, i suppose it depends, if i show you my real self or keep sitting on this shelf. | | |
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